(SFX: BACKGROUND ARCADE NOISE - CONTINUOUS)
TR (ANNC): It's the fourth annual "Pin-plosion" pinball tournament in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire! Tonight's tournament is brought to you by Slippers - the official footwear of Pinball. Slippers, they're comfortable and warm and great for standing still- buy a pair today! Now for play-by-play and color commentary, I'm Ron Sterling and here's Susan Waldorf!
SB (EXCITED COLOR COMMENTARY): Thanks Ron. Gosh, it's a beautiful day to be indoors slapping that steel ball around!
TR (SMARMY PLAY-BY-PLAY): I'll say. We have quite the matchup tonight- I haven't seen this many excellent pin-ballers in one dark basement since last year! "Big Ben" Boniface, Margot "The Doctor," and jack-of-all-trades Tim Tebow.
SB: I caught up with Ben before the match- he said he's excited to hit the ball at the target. I have to say, that's what this game is about. Hitting a ball at things and hoping to score points.
TR: Couldn't've put it better myself. Big Ben is stepping up to the machine- he's starting with Williams' classic Theatre of Magic.
SB: He's going to try to score points while at the same time trying not to drain the ball.
TR: Yes... And Ben pulls the plunger-
(SFX: PINBALL LAUNCH SOUND)
TR (AS FAST AS POSSIBLE): And he's got the Illusion Skill Shot, initiating the Strait Jacket and Uhp-
(SFX: PINBALL RAMP - DIGITAL ARPEGGIO SOUND)
TR: He hits it with the right flipper onto the right ramp, backhand and Uhp-
(SFX: PINBALL TIMER COUNTDOWN)
TR: Time is running out on the illusion and- Uhp-
(SFX: PINBALL HIT TARGET)
TR: He hits the captive ball, advancing the Vanish Awa- Uhp-
(SFX: PINBALL LOCK)
TR (SLOWING DOWN): And he accidentally locked a ball!
SB (A LITTLE OVERWHELMED): This has been very fast.
TR: I'll say- and he pulls the plunger again-
(SFX: PINBALL LAUNCH SOUND)
TR (VERY FAST AGAIN): And he hits the captive ball-
(SFX: PINBALL BALL COLLISION)
TR: Cute Graphic, Uhp! He hit the-
TR: Oh and then he hit the-
TR: Can he get out of the-
(SFX: CASH REGISTER)
SB (AMAZED): I don't believe what I'm seeing! If only the folks at home could see this master of the ball!
(SFX: SHATTERING GLASS)
TR: And he's-
(SFX: AOL "You've Got Mail!")
TR: He has mail-
TR: Look out-
(SFX: BEES BUZZING)
TR: Avoid the bees-
(SFX: PINBALL POWERDOWN)
TR (SLOWING DOWN): Annnd he drains the ball! Whew! In that whirlwind performance he racked up 700k- not bad; but if he wants to make it to the semis he's going to have to do better.
SB: Hold on just a moment- Ben is grabbing his arm.
TR: He's hurt!
SB: Paramedics are taking to the arcade floor- yep, he's got a slightly sore wrist.
TR: That's an injury that can take you out for hours.
SB: This will certainly fuel the debate about whether or not to require wrist braces in league play.
TR: I'll say, Susan. Now for a message from our sponsors-
(MUSIC: UPBEAT BACKGROUND ACOUSTIC)
TR (ANNC): Are you tired of getting chilly toes because you're standing in one place without moving for hours?
TR: Then you need - Slippers! Slippers, Blankets for your feet!
(MUSIC: CHEERY JINGLE)
CT & SB (SINGING): S-L-I-P-P-E-R... S! (SPOKEN) Not just for old people!
(MUSIC UP, OUT. END)